Breakups are hard to get over. Even where you saw it coming, you will still have a hard time getting over your ex. What follows are feelings of self-doubt and betrayal, or even resentment. If you are the one who decided to end things, you may also deal with guilt and sadness. The first few days and weeks, or even months, are the worst. With time, you can try to pick yourself up and move forward. Here are a few tips to get through a breakup:
Know You are Not Alone
After any breakup, it is normal to feel like you are alone in this world. Technically, a divorce is the dissolution of marriage, which means that the person who was a significant part of you is no longer there. Even with friends and family around, it is normal to feel some part of you is empty. However, you should know that you are not alone in this. While no one may understand how you are feeling at the moment, your friends and family will be there for you. Take advantage of that and talk to them. Vent if you have to and cry as much as you want as it helps release the anger and pain. If you are hurt and angry, it is entirely normal, and expressing how you feel to someone lessens the burden.
Rebuild Your Confidence
If your ex initiated the breakup, feelings of self-doubt might start creeping in. You will start over-analyzing your personality and physical appearance, questioning what you lacked that made your partner leave. You should focus on your best qualities and what you brought into the relationship. Make a list of all your abilities and emotional strengths that have helped you build relationships. If you cannot think of any at the moment, talk to your closest friends and families to help you out. They will be happy to assist you in listing all the traits that make you the best partner in the world.
Find a New Hobby
Try and find a new hobby to keep you busy. After a breakup, if you are idle, you will keep thinking about your ex and all the memories you shared, which will hurt you even more. Distracting yourself is a good way to get over your ex because it takes your mind off pain thoughts. You can start a blog and write about things you have a passion for, like music or books. Considering that approximately 900,000 domains are registered in a week, starting yours shouldn’t be a challenge. You can also join a dancing class or a cooking class to help you cope with your feelings.
Schedule Plans with Friends
Hanging out with friends can be a good distraction so that you do not wallow in sadness. Make plans for a dinner or lunch date with your closest friends. Remember to invite friends who make you feel like you matter and your feeling are valid. You are dealing with heartbreak, and you need consolation. You can also plan for a sleepover at your friend’s place, where you binge on Netflix, drink wine and cry all you want. This can be a good time for you to process the heartbreak with close people around you. Friends have a way of listening to you vent and reminding you how lovable you are.
Splurge on Something Good for You
Another way to get through a breakup is by splurging on something good for you. A study found that if you spend money on things you love, your moods can improve significantly. If you have been using braces, consider getting Invisalign aligners. Note that you have to change them every two weeks. It may take three weeks of wear for complex movements, but for less complex movements, ten days of wear. You can also renovate your house or change your wardrobe completely.
There is no shortcut to get over an ex. You have to learn to be patient with yourself and let go of any feelings of guilt and inadequacy, but with time, that will come.